Land of the Long White Cloud

Hey all, and welcome to another long-awaited blog update. This one comes a full month after Alex's (slightly over-abusive) biopic from Auckland, and from Auckland we have been very very busy...

Following a day walking around the city and wandering around the museum we were truly ready to get on the bus and escape to the country. And the North Island didn't disappoint. From awesome coastal scenery in Mercury Bay, we headed to smelly Rotorua and its funky geothermal activity resulting in loads of steam and eggyness all round. That night we decided to exercise our cultural curiosity and headed out to some Maori experience. The highlight was definitely the all-you-can-eat buffet meal - featuring 4 types of meat, 3 salads, pavlova and custard OR cream. Wow. Best meal of the whole trip yet. Otherwise there was the Haka, and we were made to run round some Maori agility course for about 20 minutes. The chief seemed to enjoy it.

Leaving that sulphurous stench behind we skipped across to Waitomo, famous for its underground caving world. We couldn't help but give in the the Abyss black water rafting experience. So, basically we got down to some...abseiling, zipwiring, floating around in inner tubes, climbing underground waterfalls and devouring hot chocolate and flapjacks. It was pretty damn awesome. Alex stunk at it though, and didnt we know it. That wetsuit can never be used agaain..

Sweet, so next stop was Taupo for some natural hot springs, lack of sky-diving and a night that Alex doesnt remember too well. Not sure how, given the force with which he was thrown to the floor by the bouncer at the local club. Oh, another thing: no one liked out Kiwi bus driver. Her name was Pam and she was pregnant, temperamental and not exactly easy-going most of the time. I didnt exactly have much of a problem, though the group had decreed we skip forward to the bus ahead. And everyone followed, except for one German girl who would later get Sam banned from all YHAs in New Zealand.

Next up, River Valley. Alex played poker while I enjoyed mud volleyball in the rain. Not sure who was being more manly there. Oh, and I got to do some white water rafting on the hardest river in NZ. The waters were so rough we had to get out the rafts and walk round, but that just added to the excitement, especially with our guides telling us how many lives each rapid had claimed just after we'd conquered them.

Nancy drove us down to Wellington for a night that included scary glasses-stealing stalker girl, emergency visits to the supermarket for Kettle Chips and rooftop rumours. The museum the next day was absolutely sweet. I probably spent about 6 hours there. I know, that's cool right. A word of advice - don't go watch the new Transformers film. Under any circumstances.

Onto the Interislander we went, and goodbye to the North Island we wished. The south was supposedly where it was at, and our driver was apparently an ex-rockstar whose wife had left him for their band's frontman. Pretty hardcore eh. Turns out that was all a lie though. Rich was a pretty cool dude, but really he was from a small farming town in the south and had been involved in no such scandal. The next part of our trip (heading down the West coast to Queenstown) would be the most definitive. Beautiful landscape, adrenaline-pumping activities and copious alcohol intake. Sweet.

Right, so first off was Nelson. Alex and I ran up some huge hill to the centre of New Zealand, then played football into the sunset before hitting a tipsy happiness back at El Paradiso. Westport was a bit too wet for us, but preparations were at hand for the famous Pu Party to come the next night. The theme was the definition of liberal, so anything would have been allowed. A few visits to charity shops in Greymouth and we had our outfits: I would flaunt a beautiful full-length flowery dress with matching apron and pass as Delia Smith. Alex found a toy gun, ripped up a brown shirt and donned his cowboy hat to become an admirable Woody from Toy Story.

Besides the anal Tre Cool lookalike who followed us to our room and stole our goon, the night turned out well. I cant say I remember much of the details, but I've been told it was a thumbs-up. Oh, and some guy dressed up as a KKK member...and got away with it! No hard feelings were felt. Also present were Hulk, Tiger Woods, Wolverine and Catwoman. There was another cross-dresser, but I did try to avoid him most of the night because he did look scarily like a lady. Alex also couldnt look me in the eye. Apparently I was too good a woman.

From the Pu Rich cruised us over to the Franz Joseph glacier. We climbed that monster and its treacherous tunnels and narrow passes. Tom took his trousers down too, though couldnt get his hands up in fear of excessive exposure. A quick stop off in Wanaka for a stunning sunset, sexy bangers&mash and gruesome movies and we were on the road to Queenstown. But first, a random stop-off at Puzzle World for crazy tricks of the mind and the unconquerable maze that we definitely conquered without cheating. Now to Queenstown.

And Queenstown was such a monumental climax to the trip that I cant possibly be selfish enough to take it away from Alex. So basically he's gonna come along and do an entire blog on it. I know, highly unorthodox and something we've never tried before here at the blogspot. But it really was that good. I'll be back after for the wind-down after we left that amazing place...

Take it to 'em bud

Love M xx